Wedding Schmedding

I have been intending to do a full out rant on the bridezilla trend, however, something just came up that I wanted to comment on because its fresh on my mind. I may still do the rant, or it may come in parts... we'll see.
When I started playing music for weddings on a regular basis, I noticed that a lot of brides were coming in with the same thoughts of wedding music. Some of which weren't appropriate for a catholic wedding, some were just cliche. I decided to do a little research on where they were getting these ideas, and exactly what was being told. I did some google searches and ended up on a wedding website. This particular site has forums, and an actual forum for “Catholic brides”. With intrigue, I read the q&a there, and saw many misunderstandings and incorrect answers given about almost everything mostly from anecdotal stories. There were a few orthodox Catholics there that were pretty knowledgeable. I stuck around to correct some errors, and I go back occasionally as I usually get sucked into places where I can witness to the faith.

The latest posting (not in the Catholic forum, but in a generic one) is such a blatant and obvious example that the wedding industry has taken over many people's ability to think clearly when engaged.


Ok so my future hubby and I live together and we just ordered our save the dates with our address on them. My mom said I need to reorder them without our address on them because if it gets back to the church that we are living together before we are married they will not marry us. Is it true that they will not marry us if we live together before hand? Kind of freaking out a bit....I may have to re-order my STDs (save the dates)...UGH!

My problems:

1. Mom encouraging and bride not even hesitating about keeping secret the living arrangements. All for a “Wedding”. Never mind if its a real or valid marriage, or if its come about honestly. (No I'm not saying those living together can't get married validly, but the lying to the priest is representative of bigger issues that show up at annulment time).
2. The biggest issue in her mind is that she may have to reorder “save the dates” with the address changed.
3. Not one mention or concern that the fact that they are living together is actually a problem, or that the church actually has reasons for discouraging it.
4. All the advice given on the board so far has been how to get around a priest that my encourage living apart... or that they can't deny the marriage because of it. Not one iota of a consideration to heeding the advice.

Now my reason for posting here is not to go into the benefits of a couple not living together before marriage. (and I can do that, I've got facts, stuff about Theology of the Body, etc).

This particular post is just one example of the 2 main issues I see:
Today, the “wedding” schtuff is taking precedence over any consideration about the marriage itself, even to the point that the marriage isn't even really considered, as long as miss bride gets her way.
It seems that it is never considered that there are reasons the church has “rules” and encouarages certain behavior, espcially of those asking for a Sacrament. And that instead of looking to be an exception the rule, one can actually benefit by following it.