I have been intending to do a full out rant on the bridezilla trend, however, something just came up that I wanted to comment on because its fresh on my mind. I may still do the rant, or it may come in parts... we'll see.
When I started playing music for weddings on a regular basis, I noticed that a lot of brides were coming in with the same thoughts of wedding music. Some of which weren't appropriate for a catholic wedding, some were just cliche. I decided to do a little research on where they were getting these ideas, and exactly what was being told. I did some google searches and ended up on a wedding website. This particular site has forums, and an actual forum for “Catholic brides”. With intrigue, I read the q&a there, and saw many misunderstandings and incorrect answers given about almost everything mostly from anecdotal stories. There were a few orthodox Catholics there that were pretty knowledgeable. I stuck around to correct some errors, and I go back occasionally as I usually get sucked into places where I can witness to the faith.
The latest posting (not in the Catholic forum, but in a generic one) is such a blatant and obvious example that the wedding industry has taken over many people's ability to think clearly when engaged.
Ok so my future hubby and I live together and we just ordered our save the dates with our address on them. My mom said I need to reorder them without our address on them because if it gets back to the church that we are living together before we are married they will not marry us. Is it true that they will not marry us if we live together before hand? Kind of freaking out a bit....I may have to re-order my STDs (save the dates)...UGH!
My problems:
1. Mom encouraging and bride not even hesitating about keeping secret the living arrangements. All for a “Wedding”. Never mind if its a real or valid marriage, or if its come about honestly. (No I'm not saying those living together can't get married validly, but the lying to the priest is representative of bigger issues that show up at annulment time).
2. The biggest issue in her mind is that she may have to reorder “save the dates” with the address changed.
3. Not one mention or concern that the fact that they are living together is actually a problem, or that the church actually has reasons for discouraging it.
4. All the advice given on the board so far has been how to get around a priest that my encourage living apart... or that they can't deny the marriage because of it. Not one iota of a consideration to heeding the advice.
Now my reason for posting here is not to go into the benefits of a couple not living together before marriage. (and I can do that, I've got facts, stuff about Theology of the Body, etc).
This particular post is just one example of the 2 main issues I see:
Today, the “wedding” schtuff is taking precedence over any consideration about the marriage itself, even to the point that the marriage isn't even really considered, as long as miss bride gets her way.
It seems that it is never considered that there are reasons the church has “rules” and encouarages certain behavior, espcially of those asking for a Sacrament. And that instead of looking to be an exception the rule, one can actually benefit by following it.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
Subtlety
Another one for you music geeks:
I enjoy subtle nuances in music. (Was that repetitive? Subtle nuance? I needed a noun). These little "nods" can sometimes be like inside jokes or it can make you long for a little more, because its not overdone.
Examples of "subtlety"...
Straight no Chaser "Hark the Herald/Angels we have heard".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2PedMcs8fA
The arrangement is magnificent, the change in chord progression is only just a little different, and the execution of it is heavenly. Not oversung...they aren't having to restrain, but just giving it the right "touch." In their live shows, many songs contain choreography and cheesy mugging, but this one is done with reverence. This arrangement does contain a lot of layers, however, the way they all end up in the pinnacle part of the chorus, which is the unexpected minor chord that rounds off to end the word, is just the right amount of umph. A gentle breeze rather than hurricane winds.
Dave Matthews "Christmas Song"
I know its old, but the simplicity of just guitar and voice take away distractions from the meaning of the lyrics. The song stands by itself, it doesn't need lots of layers or instrumentation to grab you. The back and forth of a free flowy kind of feel in the verse to the 2&4 time kept in the chorus helps you listen to the story, then hear the point made.
When coming across subtlety when watching a music group live or listening to a recording, I get little surges of pleasure in catching it. While the main idea of the music maybe be enjoyable enough, its the little nuances that make the idea all the more stated. or ...er...understated. ..anyway...
My point?
Well, lately, God has been giving me subtle nudges. I don't just mean "small", even though they are, but its "nuanced". It's part of a larger piece of music...a larger work of art.
I thought I was in the bridge of my song...my "song of life"...thought I knew what was coming because the last chorus is just the same as the first, but more satisfying, and perhaps God might throw me a curve ball with a coda. Nope. I think perhaps I've done a chorus to start, and I'm finishing out the first verse. The chorus is the fact that I'm a Catholic Christian. It's my blueprint...my basis, the main idea. The verses are different eras in my life and how I live in light of that main idea. I'm figuring bridges are either some kind of trauma or larger change in direction. Some songs don't have a bridge, many do, and when the bridge is too early in a song, (sometimes like those old gershwin tunes that do a long intro bridge that no one remembers...you know why? because its the bridge that is done too early...without the main idea stated yet, its got no legs yet), when the bridge is too early it can lead to disaster, or be confusing. When one doesn't have their faith base yet, a trauma can be very harmful, but when one does have their faith, traumas are avenues to help us cling even more to God and it gives us strength...so we return back to the chorus...often with an uplifting key change.
(This metephor is working great for me...how long can I milk it?)
Back to subtlety: Lately, there have been a few moments that I noticed a little nudge. Like that unexpected chord, or the time dropping out to get back to the storytelling, something to make me take notice.
Now, I could actually write these experiences out, but that wouldn't be subtle, would it?
I enjoy subtle nuances in music. (Was that repetitive? Subtle nuance? I needed a noun). These little "nods" can sometimes be like inside jokes or it can make you long for a little more, because its not overdone.
Examples of "subtlety"...
Straight no Chaser "Hark the Herald/Angels we have heard".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2PedMcs8fA
The arrangement is magnificent, the change in chord progression is only just a little different, and the execution of it is heavenly. Not oversung...they aren't having to restrain, but just giving it the right "touch." In their live shows, many songs contain choreography and cheesy mugging, but this one is done with reverence. This arrangement does contain a lot of layers, however, the way they all end up in the pinnacle part of the chorus, which is the unexpected minor chord that rounds off to end the word, is just the right amount of umph. A gentle breeze rather than hurricane winds.
Dave Matthews "Christmas Song"
I know its old, but the simplicity of just guitar and voice take away distractions from the meaning of the lyrics. The song stands by itself, it doesn't need lots of layers or instrumentation to grab you. The back and forth of a free flowy kind of feel in the verse to the 2&4 time kept in the chorus helps you listen to the story, then hear the point made.
When coming across subtlety when watching a music group live or listening to a recording, I get little surges of pleasure in catching it. While the main idea of the music maybe be enjoyable enough, its the little nuances that make the idea all the more stated. or ...er...understated. ..anyway...
My point?
Well, lately, God has been giving me subtle nudges. I don't just mean "small", even though they are, but its "nuanced". It's part of a larger piece of music...a larger work of art.
I thought I was in the bridge of my song...my "song of life"...thought I knew what was coming because the last chorus is just the same as the first, but more satisfying, and perhaps God might throw me a curve ball with a coda. Nope. I think perhaps I've done a chorus to start, and I'm finishing out the first verse. The chorus is the fact that I'm a Catholic Christian. It's my blueprint...my basis, the main idea. The verses are different eras in my life and how I live in light of that main idea. I'm figuring bridges are either some kind of trauma or larger change in direction. Some songs don't have a bridge, many do, and when the bridge is too early in a song, (sometimes like those old gershwin tunes that do a long intro bridge that no one remembers...you know why? because its the bridge that is done too early...without the main idea stated yet, its got no legs yet), when the bridge is too early it can lead to disaster, or be confusing. When one doesn't have their faith base yet, a trauma can be very harmful, but when one does have their faith, traumas are avenues to help us cling even more to God and it gives us strength...so we return back to the chorus...often with an uplifting key change.
(This metephor is working great for me...how long can I milk it?)
Back to subtlety: Lately, there have been a few moments that I noticed a little nudge. Like that unexpected chord, or the time dropping out to get back to the storytelling, something to make me take notice.
Now, I could actually write these experiences out, but that wouldn't be subtle, would it?
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Spiritual Direction
I met with a new spiritual director yesterday. He doesn't know if he can take me on regularly, however, I'll appreciate any time I get with this guy. He was uh may zing.
He knew exactly the right questions to ask when, he could discern exactly where I was, he had the right balance of empathy and challenges, but completely validated my stuff. Very gifted.
The major thing I realized I need to do is become detached to certain desires. (No, not THOSE kind). Just specific things in my life that have become more of a focus, so much so that any prayer is particularly painful because it is always about that focus. To be clear, this does not mean I want or pray for those desires to be taken away...not at all. It just means I stop clinging so hard...perhaps if I've even made them a "god" in a way...I gotta work on letting go.
After my meeting I came home and picked up the rosary. I got stuck, early on. Like, the first line early. "I believe in God.... " I kept saying that over and over..what does this mean? Do I REALLY believe in God, the father almighty, who made heaven and earth? Cause if I really and truly did, why is it so gosh darn hard to trust him? So I think my prayer for detachment is going to be using this line of the creed for meditation, hopefully contemplating the mystery of a God who willed my being, wills my breath, and has a plan...one thats better than I have for myself. Cause there is a God and its not me.
This means I have some many painful times in adoration waiting for me. It means I will be begging God to help me become detached, because I certainly can't do it on my own. Will you pray for me?
He knew exactly the right questions to ask when, he could discern exactly where I was, he had the right balance of empathy and challenges, but completely validated my stuff. Very gifted.
The major thing I realized I need to do is become detached to certain desires. (No, not THOSE kind). Just specific things in my life that have become more of a focus, so much so that any prayer is particularly painful because it is always about that focus. To be clear, this does not mean I want or pray for those desires to be taken away...not at all. It just means I stop clinging so hard...perhaps if I've even made them a "god" in a way...I gotta work on letting go.
After my meeting I came home and picked up the rosary. I got stuck, early on. Like, the first line early. "I believe in God.... " I kept saying that over and over..what does this mean? Do I REALLY believe in God, the father almighty, who made heaven and earth? Cause if I really and truly did, why is it so gosh darn hard to trust him? So I think my prayer for detachment is going to be using this line of the creed for meditation, hopefully contemplating the mystery of a God who willed my being, wills my breath, and has a plan...one thats better than I have for myself. Cause there is a God and its not me.
This means I have some many painful times in adoration waiting for me. It means I will be begging God to help me become detached, because I certainly can't do it on my own. Will you pray for me?
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