Subtlety

Another one for you music geeks:

I enjoy subtle nuances in music. (Was that repetitive? Subtle nuance? I needed a noun). These little "nods" can sometimes be like inside jokes or it can make you long for a little more, because its not overdone.

Examples of "subtlety"...
Straight no Chaser "Hark the Herald/Angels we have heard".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2PedMcs8fA

The arrangement is magnificent, the change in chord progression is only just a little different, and the execution of it is heavenly. Not oversung...they aren't having to restrain, but just giving it the right "touch." In their live shows, many songs contain choreography and cheesy mugging, but this one is done with reverence. This arrangement does contain a lot of layers, however, the way they all end up in the pinnacle part of the chorus, which is the unexpected minor chord that rounds off to end the word, is just the right amount of umph. A gentle breeze rather than hurricane winds.

Dave Matthews "Christmas Song"

I know its old, but the simplicity of just guitar and voice take away distractions from the meaning of the lyrics. The song stands by itself, it doesn't need lots of layers or instrumentation to grab you. The back and forth of a free flowy kind of feel in the verse to the 2&4 time kept in the chorus helps you listen to the story, then hear the point made.


When coming across subtlety when watching a music group live or listening to a recording, I get little surges of pleasure in catching it. While the main idea of the music maybe be enjoyable enough, its the little nuances that make the idea all the more stated. or ...er...understated. ..anyway...

My point?
Well, lately, God has been giving me subtle nudges. I don't just mean "small", even though they are, but its "nuanced". It's part of a larger piece of music...a larger work of art.

I thought I was in the bridge of my song...my "song of life"...thought I knew what was coming because the last chorus is just the same as the first, but more satisfying, and perhaps God might throw me a curve ball with a coda. Nope. I think perhaps I've done a chorus to start, and I'm finishing out the first verse. The chorus is the fact that I'm a Catholic Christian. It's my blueprint...my basis, the main idea. The verses are different eras in my life and how I live in light of that main idea. I'm figuring bridges are either some kind of trauma or larger change in direction. Some songs don't have a bridge, many do, and when the bridge is too early in a song, (sometimes like those old gershwin tunes that do a long intro bridge that no one remembers...you know why? because its the bridge that is done too early...without the main idea stated yet, its got no legs yet), when the bridge is too early it can lead to disaster, or be confusing. When one doesn't have their faith base yet, a trauma can be very harmful, but when one does have their faith, traumas are avenues to help us cling even more to God and it gives us strength...so we return back to the chorus...often with an uplifting key change.

(This metephor is working great for me...how long can I milk it?)

Back to subtlety: Lately, there have been a few moments that I noticed a little nudge. Like that unexpected chord, or the time dropping out to get back to the storytelling, something to make me take notice.

Now, I could actually write these experiences out, but that wouldn't be subtle, would it?

Spiritual Direction

I met with a new spiritual director yesterday. He doesn't know if he can take me on regularly, however, I'll appreciate any time I get with this guy. He was uh may zing.

He knew exactly the right questions to ask when, he could discern exactly where I was, he had the right balance of empathy and challenges, but completely validated my stuff. Very gifted.

The major thing I realized I need to do is become detached to certain desires. (No, not THOSE kind). Just specific things in my life that have become more of a focus, so much so that any prayer is particularly painful because it is always about that focus. To be clear, this does not mean I want or pray for those desires to be taken away...not at all. It just means I stop clinging so hard...perhaps if I've even made them a "god" in a way...I gotta work on letting go.

After my meeting I came home and picked up the rosary. I got stuck, early on. Like, the first line early. "I believe in God.... " I kept saying that over and over..what does this mean? Do I REALLY believe in God, the father almighty, who made heaven and earth? Cause if I really and truly did, why is it so gosh darn hard to trust him? So I think my prayer for detachment is going to be using this line of the creed for meditation, hopefully contemplating the mystery of a God who willed my being, wills my breath, and has a plan...one thats better than I have for myself. Cause there is a God and its not me.

This means I have some many painful times in adoration waiting for me. It means I will be begging God to help me become detached, because I certainly can't do it on my own. Will you pray for me?